June is by far the most stressful month in our year with
both our ASD children celebrating their birthdays and our youngest son’s annual
statement review.
Our daughter said I ruined her birthday as I made her attend a transition visit to her upper school that day. When she was told about the visit, two days
before it took place, there were tears and a refusal to attend. She expected me to tell school that she didn't have to go due to it being her birthday. However, she went on the visit and although
she says she didn’t enjoy it, we are proud she did the visit. Retail therapy the following weekend in
Oxford Street seemed to make up for the initial bad start to her 13th
birthday. In fairness to our daughter
she has matured a lot during the past six months and although she may put up a
fight about doing something she doesn’t want to do, she ends up doing it,
rather than putting up a continual battle, which is a huge step forward. She knows she has a difficult few months
ahead of her, starting a new school with no friends and unfamiliar staff, but
it is a choice she has made to help her cope with this next stage in her
life. Once the last day of term arrives
on 22 July, middle school will be part of her history and she will want to
swiftly move onto the next chapter. Life
is very black and white for her, but if it works, then it’s the best way
forward. She has made a brave choice and we are very proud of her and know she will succeed. It will take time and there will be backward
steps, but she will get there in the end.
In the middle of this month we attended our youngest son’s
annual statement review. A lot of changes were made to his statement to reflect the progress he has made
from when it was first written three years ago when he was in Reception year. He still requires the same level of support,
but he’s now reached a different stage in his education as he makes his way
through school life. The upcoming
year is going to be one to prepare him for the transition to middle school he
will make next September. It may be over
a year away, but it takes time for our son to understand the changes that are
ahead of him and he will need to be given more strategies to add to his ‘toolbox’
to help him cope with what lies ahead of him.
Hopefully, once he sees his
sister adapting to her new school, he won’t be so frightened of moving
somewhere bigger without a lot of his friends.
He is competitive like his sister and if she can do it, I know he will
believe he can too.
This week, our youngest son turned 8. He has been on countdown for the past three
weeks since his sister’s birthday and made his opinion known very strongly that
he didn’t want anyone at school to know it was his birthday on the day. He hates the attention being on him and
didn’t want to be asked lots of questions about what presents he had received
etc. Staff made sure no reference was made
to it being his birthday and he came home very happy that no one had realised
it was his birthday. He is so different to our daughter who went to
school with the biggest badge she could find so that the world knew she was 13
on her birthday. What works for one
child doesn’t always work for another and we are great believers in letting our
children guide us with what makes them happy, so that we don’t add to the
stress that their ASD presents them with on a daily basis. Lots of people think it’s strange that we
don’t wrap up presents for our youngest son, but he doesn’t like the element of
surprise and we would rather he is happy and enjoys his birthday, than we conform
to what is expected for a birthday celebration.
Will July turn out to be a quieter month? Not looking likely at the moment as I’m back
in hospital for the day tomorrow with another appointment later in the month
and our daughter has two rollover days next week at her new school. She also has her Prom, school trip to Thorpe
Park and Leavers Assembly. The most
important job for July though is all three kids are going to work on their
bucket lists for the summer holidays, so that we have lots of fun activities to
look forward to during their six weeks off.
